I wonder if anyone was to experience hypoglycemia if they would be more considerate and care more.

Well I have no won to talk to and while I laid in my bed after a rather close call I remembered I use to write on that msn spaces thing all the time and it actually use to sooth my brain, funny how writing to yourself helps. So I thought I’d try this thing out as I couldn’t sleep.

Out of all the people I know I’m pretty sure I’m the only person who can say I have been on the verge of death and seen into the eyes of the reaper so many times I can’t even count it. At least twice a week I lie in my bed slowly dying. For you that don’t know “Hypoglycemia or hypoglycaemia is the medical term for a pathologic state produced by a lower than normal level of blood glucose.” “Hypoglycemia can produce a variety of symptoms and effects but the principal problems arise from an inadequate supply of glucose as fuel to the brain, resulting in impairment of function (neuroglycopenia). Derangements of function can range from vaguely "feeling bad" to coma and permanent brain damage or death.”

So yeah… I’ll be asleep and my blood sugar will drop extremely low and it feels like… how to put this into words? Well my dreams stop. I start too sweat then shortly after I go pale and get extremely cold to the point I’m shivering. When I do wake up to find this is happening I can’t see anything my eyes are totally worthless all I’m able to see is a big bright dot, and it feels like I have no energy what so ever; it all feels like a horrible nightmare with some realistic pain. I would try to express it more but some things you just can’t put into words. It’s one of the most horrible and worst pains I have ever had to deal with my whole life, and somehow I always manage to get myself up and do whatever it is that has to be done to live.

Tonight was rather bad; I sleep downstairs in the family room or was it living room? Either way it’s the room no one ever really goes in and without the TV in case something like this happens I’ll be closer to the kitchen. And yeah, shortly after I got up and managed to grab something to drink and a bite to eat I tested my blood sugar to see if it was going to go too high… which often happens… such a hassle having it go extremely low at one point then shortly after going extremely high. And to my surprise my blood sugar wasn’t able to be read, all that was coming up was the word “low” which isn’t unusual but in this case since I ate not too long ago it should really have given me a reading yet it didn’t, I can only imagine how low it must have been when I first woke.

It’s not like I don’t try and take care of myself, it’s just extremely hard. Having to test my blood sugar before every meal then shortly after and to have to determine how much insulin I got to give according to what I eat, what I’m doing and planning on doing, and what my blood sugar already is. Considering I don’t have a diabetic doctor anymore… well yeah its tuff.

Anyways, that’s a glimpse into my nights… got to love them eh?